By Jolie Widawsky, Summer Intern at Tournesol Wellness
After throwing out the notions that New Year’s resolutions needed to be completely quantitative, I decided 2018 would be the year of ME. This year I wasn’t going to deem myself a failure if my jeans from half a decade ago still didn’t fit. I wasn’t going to worry if I hadn’t saved as much money as I hoped to.
At an annual New Year’s Eve gathering with new and old friends we said goodbye to 2017 and welcomed 2018 with fresh and open arms. The countdown began and I took a moment to reflect on the things I wanted to do differently this year. Everyone in the room began chanting with the television. It was as if they had rehearsed together to get it perfectly in unison.
SIX! —I can’t believe I didn’t stand up for myself at work. FIVE! — Why did I date that jerk even when I knew I deserved better? FOUR! — Why did I look in the mirror every morning and see the things I hated about myself instead of the things I loved? THREE! — Alright, Jolie. Things have to change. No more being my own worst enemy. TWO! —I’m going to make 2018 mine. ONE! —I will love myself unconditionally.
Today is the summer equinox. This is a perfect time to pause and reflect on how I’ve done on my resolution so far. I’m proud to be working on my mental health instead of setting out to lose the same ten pounds I pledge to shed each year. I’m proud of myself for forging a path forward where I can realize self-love. I have a plan. I have clarity.
We’re half-way through the year and looking back I’m pleased with my progress so far. Growth hasn’t been simple. Being my own resolution means facing my struggles and celebrating my triumphs with resilience. Becoming my own resolution means nothing can stop me from growing exponentially. I won’t give up on myself.
This month I started some serious self-reflection. Without it, I know I’ll repeat old habits that keep me stuck. Here’s some of the practices I will incorporate into my daily rituals during the second half of 2018:
- I need to slow down. I am always in a rush trying to make it to the next chapter, position, destination. No more rushing through this magical journey of life!
- I will stop chasing perfection. In the past I have used images in the media as inspirations instead of aspiring to great personal goals I set for myself.
- Self-critiques don’t help. Noticing my flaws was a habit I could change. I believe self-love will put me on a path to total acceptance and love.
I realized how easy it has always been going through habits that don’t drive me for progress. I’m sure this has a lot to do with the messages we are constantly bombarded with from the media. But I worked to put a stop to all the self doubting notions that had been engraved in my mind since childhood. My friends and family loved me regardless of the stomach I thought was too big, my annoying voice, and my imperfect eyebrows. Why couldn’t I see past it too? I am a work in progress. But it is okay to love myself unconditionally now too.
What is life if not just one big art project? When we learn to paint as little children, we learn that there are no mistakes in art, just new possibilities. What presented itself as a dribble of paint in the wrong spot may actually have been an open door of opportunity. I believe you should always jump at opportunity.
Say yes now. Figure out the small stuff after. And keep working towards being the best you.